R’ Moshe Schwerd – Attaining Spiritual Purity on Yom Kippur and Shoes – mp3
Saturday, September 26th, 2009 - Guest ContributorR’ Moshe Schwerd – Attaining Spiritual Purity on Yom Kippur and Shoes – mp3 can be downloaded here.
'Yomim Noraim' Posts
A Mother of a Child-at-Risk
Thursday, September 24th, 2009 - Guest ContributorBy “A Hopeful Mother”
Do you have a child who’s at risk, or maybe already gone off the derech? Well, I know how misery loves company, so I just wanted to share with you a shocking piece of news I heard… about someone (someone really big) who’s kids also went off the derech (don’t worry it’s not lashon hara, because a lot of people already know about it).
Are you ready?
Perhaps you already guessed… it’s Hashem. He has many, many children who went off the derech. And it’s a terrible source of anguish to Him.
I heard in the name of Rav Usher Freund ztz’l that we have to join our pain to His pain. We need to feel bad that Hashem is in pain. It hurts Him more than it hurts us that His children are lost and far from the truth.
“Anyone who prays for his fellow man when he is in need of the same thing is answered first.” Let’s daven – even beg – to Hashem to show His (and our) children the way back… for His sake… not because of shidduchim, seminaries, what will the neighbors think… but because as much as it hurts us it hurts Him much, much more.
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Eat, Drink…For Tomorrow
Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009 - Guest Contributorby Rabbi Mordechai Rhine
The day preceding Yom Kippur is an anomaly on the Jewish Calendar. Although Yom Kippur is a solemn day, the day before it is a day of semi-celebration. We do not recite tachanun; it is a mitzvah to eat and drink. What is the significance of this day before Yom Kippur?
Some people will answer that the eating and drinking is simply a health precaution, preparing for the long fast of Yom Kippur. But as with all observance I believe there is a deeper message.
Not long ago, in a large city called Humanville, USA there was a terrible crisis. The largest company in the region, the employer of thousands of workers, was about to be closed down. Apparently their business had been run with enormous carelessness. Record keeping was seriously flawed. In fact, during a recent audit it was discovered that even the computer programs were messed up. In many cases assets were showing up as debts, while many debts were not being reported at all. Shareholders who heard the news were ready to sue. The Feds were appalled and threatened to close the company down. For over a month there were rumors that everyone would be getting a pink slip within days.
Suddenly there was hope. A certain expert, we’ll call him Mr. Fix It, called the CEO and offered to help. After checking Mr. Fix It’s credentials, the CEO decided that it was really worth a try. The CEO hired Mr. Fix It for an amazing 25 hours. The goal: To assess the problems, and to revamp the company.
Come join us as we eavesdrop on the CEO as he dictates a memo to the staff regarding the visit of Mr. Fix It.
“…all files are to be made available… all computers are to be at his disposal…staff shall be totally focused on ensuring that the consultation with Mr. Fix It is a productive one… There will be no cover-ups…all problems shall be identified and a recovery plan shall be put into place…”
The hope for recovery spread quickly. Although the staff knew that the consultation day would be a grueling one, they began to look forward to it because it provided a chance for salvation. The day before was celebrated in the cafeteria like a holiday. Hope for the company’s future, the city, and their jobs, had been rekindled.
The message of Yom Kippur is much the same. For a month now we were warned of a judgement day. Rosh Hashana came and we were judged. But we might not have fared as well as we had hoped. Perhaps our priorities were not found to be entirely in order. Sometimes we did mitzvos and then regretted them. Other times we considered our shortcomings as if they were assets. Our accounting books were a mess, and we feared that we might get closed down.
Suddenly a glimmer of hope appeared in the form of Yom Kippur. We are told that Hashem Himself is willing to do a Fix It type of review of our holdings. Aware that we are human beings with human failings, He is willing to give us another chance. During the 25 hour review nothing will be withheld. Infractions will be identified and a recovery plan put in place. Through our beloved machzor prayer-book we are confident that a full point checkup will be administered effectively.
The day of the review will be a challenging day. First the problems will be identified, and we will think that all is lost. Then Mr. Fix It will insist that there is hope, and He will propose a solution. We may be comfortable with the solution, or we will counterpropose one of our own. But if we cooperate with the review, we know that within 25 hours our company will be well on the way to recovery.
So as the day of review nears, hope fills the air. The day before Yom Kippur is a day of hope, a day of happiness. Eat, drink, and be ready, for tomorrow we will live.
Rabbi Mordechai Rhine, originally of Monsey, New York, is the Director of TEACH613, an organization which promotes Torah and Kiruv programming in the Cherry Hill/ Philadelphia area. He is the Rov of Young Israel of Cherry Hill, and the author of a popular book, “The Magic of Shabbos: A Journey Through the Shabbos Experience,” (Judaica Press, 1998). To invite Rabbi Rhine to speak in your community, please contact him at RMRhine@Teach613.org or 908-770-9072.
Rabbi Mordechai Rhine
Young Israel of Cherry Hill
www.teach613.org
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A Kesiva v’Chasima Tova Thought
Thursday, September 17th, 2009 - David and MarkLet’s Start at the Very Beginning…
Rabbi Yosef Albo in the Sefer Ha’Ikarim categorizes the Rambam’s 13 principles of Jewish belief into three:
(1) Hashem created the world
(2) Hashem gave us the Torah
(3) Hashem scrutinizes, punishes and rewards us for our deeds in this world and the next
The Sefer Ha’Ikarim says that on Rosh Hashanah, we strengthen our belief in these three tenets with:
(1) Malchiyos and its proclamation that Hashem is the King and Creator of the world
(2) Zichronos which says that Hashem knows all of our deeds and rewards or punishes accordingly
(3) Shofros and its affirmation of our belief in the Giving of the Torah
However, the primary theme of Rosh Hashanah is Malchiyos, and the focus on Hashem as creator, who created us for a purpose and gives us the tools and circumstances to accomplish our mission. Perhaps it’s a good time to commit ourselves to working on internalizing our intellectual awareness of Hashem through the learning of Mussar or Chassidus. This transformation of intellectual to heartfelt knowledge will help us keep focused on our purpose throughout the days of the year, and specifically when we’re involved in Torah, Tefillah and performing Mitzvos.
A Kesiva v’Chasima Tova to the entire Beyond BT community for making this the warm, supportive, growth oriented place that it is.
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Ten Ways to Help Your Children Have a More Meaningful Yomin Noraim
Thursday, September 17th, 2009 - Guest Contributor1. Explain to your children how Hashem actively seeks ways to forgive, and will forgive them – even if the best they can do is want to do teshuva.
2. Remind them that Yiddishkeit is not all-or-nothing – that their aveiros do not invalidate their mitzvos or diminish Hashem’s love.
3. Model the virtue of personal growth by sharing your own goals to improve a particular mitzvah or middah, or by working to improve something together with your children.
4. Urge them to privately recall something they wish they could undo, and reassure them that now is their opportunity to erase whatever they regret.
5. Share your personal stories of Hashgacha Pratis with your children to demonstrate Hashem’s direct involvement in your family’s day-to-day lives.
6. Encourage your children to focus on two or three things they truly appreciate as constant reminders of Hashem’s benevolence in their own lives.
7. Sincerely ask your children for mechilah during the Yomim Noraim to teach that everyone can make mistakes, and are equally worthy of being forgiven.
8. Suggest they undertake a small goal to improve their Yiddishkeit with reassurance that the most proper and effective way to grow is through small, obtainable steps of self-improvement.
9. Make a special effort during the Yomin Noraim to model Hashem’s middah of patience, compassion and forgiveness in your interactions with your spouse and children.
10. Show your children they are the center of your world. Postpone a meeting or ignore a phone call to make time for them so they’ll feel cherished and can comprehend that Hashem, too, considers them the center of His world.
For for more information about Priority-1’s training programs, resources and consultations for parents and educators, please call 800-33-FOREVER or visit http://www.priority-1.org
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Rosh Hashona Resolutions- A Deeper Look
Wednesday, September 16th, 2009 - Guest ContributorBy Aryeh Taback
Rosh Hashona resolutions are not so much about changing what we do, as much as they are about changing who we are, and close to the core of who we are stand our middos. The word middos is often translated as “character traits” but a more literal meaning would be “measures”. Middos refer to the ingrained thresholds we all have in our character. In the area of gluttony, one person may be able to resist the double thick ice-cream sundae under almost all circumstances, whereas his friend may need little encouragement to wolf down three. For one person, laziness refers to the single day last year when he slept past six am, whereas for another, facing the world before ten is bordering on superhuman. These scales exist in all areas of our character; in some areas we may have low thresholds while in other measures we may have very high ones. The combination of all of these measurements is what makes up our unique middos constellation.
The Vilna Gaon writes: “All service of Hashem depends on the remedying of one’s middos …The primary reason for the existence of man is to be constantly exerting himself in the breaking of the middos. If he does not, why should he live?”
One of the great kabbalists, Rabbi Chaim Vital, states that not only is the improvement of ones middos of critical importance, but it is in fact more significant than the observance of the mitzvos. This does not meant that one can be lax in observing the mitzvos, but simply means that if one wishes to raise ones level of observance, more energy must go into repairing ones middos, because our middos are at the root of all of our mitzvah observance. Fixing a mitzvah without fixing the root middah is like cutting a weed without pulling up the root. At some stage the weed will again rear its ugly head.
Secular success literature has in recent years also moved in the direction of a deeper improvement of character rather than the “window dressing” of good manners. In one of the “bibles” of secular success literature, Steven Covey makes a distinction between what he calls a “personality ethic” and a “character ethic”, the latter being the preferred approach to a successful life. There is however a major difference between the secular approach and the Torah one, for the secular approach still sees the improvement of deep character as the means to an end, namely getting what you want out of life. Torah however views the improvement of character as an end in itself, and one of the major reasons we walk this earth. I quote Covey: “If I try use human influence strategies and tactics of how to get other people to do what I want, to work better, to be more motivated, to like me and each other — while my character is fundamentally flawed, marked by insincerity — then, in the long run, I cannot be successful. My duplicity will breed distrust and everything I do — even using so-called good human relations techniques — will be perceived as manipulative. It simply makes no difference how good the rhetoric is or even how good the intentions are; if there is little or no trust, there is no foundation for success. Only basic goodness gives life to technique. To focus on technique is like cramming your way through school…..”
A careful reading of his words reveals that fundamentally he does not disagree with the personality “quick-fix” approach, but simply sees that it will not always allow you to manipulate people and get what you want. Improving your character in his mind is simply a more effective method, like the crook who realizes that he must wear a suit and greet the guard if he wishes to be admitted into the bank he intends to rob.
But how does one go about changing or modifying a middah? One of the most important things to do is to first familiarize yourself with your unique “middos constellation”, the combination of thresholds that exist within you. Without knowing where your strong and weak points are, you cannot set out to improve them.
At the root of all middos improvement is one’s knowledge and awareness of the fact that a higher Power runs the world. A person who lives with an awareness of Hashem in his life is equipped to confront his ordeals and consequently shape and mold his middos.
For example, a person who struggles in the area of anger has just been told that his car was damaged and that he is not insured. His capacity to restrain himself and not vent his frustrations against the people around him is directly proportional to his awareness that Hashem is in control of his world. By wielding this tool, he extends his threshold and becomes a greater human being as a result. This is true with every middah, be it gluttony, arrogance, melancholia, anxiety or thriftiness. The more that we integrate the knowledge of Hashem into our lives the greater our chances are of standing up to our challenges and expanding our inner horizons. In truth, every struggle is actually a struggle of faith. The Orchos Tzaddikim, a classic work on the subject of Middos, sums this up in the following way:
“Any person who wishes to bring himself to fine middos, needs to blend Yiras Shomayim with every middah, for Yiras Shomayim is the knot which holds all the middos in place. This can be compared to a string which is threaded through the holes of pearls, and they tie a knot at the end to hold all the pearls. There is no doubt that if the knot unravels, all the pearls will fall. So to it is with Yirah; it maintains all the middos and if the knot of Yirah should unravel, all the fine middos will be separated from you. Moreover, when you do not have good middos, there is not in your hands Torah or Mitzvos, because the entire Torah hinges on remedying ones middos.”
May we all merit to a Shanah Tova filled with personal growth.
