Beyond BT

Spiritual Growth for Jews

When Opposites Attract

Why did Avraham consider Eliezer to be cursed if Lavan referred to him as “the blessed of HaShem”? If the cursed cannot bond with the blessed how are we to understand the unions of Shechem and Dinah, the Queen of Shevah and Shlomo the King et al? Why didn’t Eliezer seek a girl who would […]

There Are No Perfect People

By Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller One of the greatest blessings that you can give a friend who is getting married is that the couple live together with peace and friendship. Peace isn’t what people think it is. It is too often confused with a mere lack of hostility in one extreme, or complete concord on the […]

Hanging on a Shidduch

By Sharon Mizrachi The frum community at large has been inundated with articles, lectures, strategies etc. about the current “Shidduch Crisis”. Many have opined the evolution, source, cure, etc., and yet, the crisis continues. Is the problem a result of the influence of the hedonistic & materialistic secular world in which we live? The economy? […]

So, You’re Going to Meet a Shadchan?

By Miriam Kolko Finding the right shadchan is a process in itself. Having spent the last years developing yourself you are ready to build a home and share it with your bashert, but now discover that a shadchan is often a prerequisite to finding a suitable match. How do you promote yourself so that your […]

Quest over a Narrow Bridge: Asia, Harvard, and Shidduchim

By Ben Clayman I wrote my last article on the day I graduated university last summer. A lot has happened since then and I thought that Hashem’s loving kindness in showing me new insights in my life could help others in their life journey towards growth. The Talmud says that when a baby is born, […]

The Shy Student: An Adventure in Shidduchim

by Ross Kryger Every character trait has its benefits and detriments. On my very first day in Israel, dressed in shorts and a T-shirt, I decided to visit a popular tourist site called “The Wailing Wall” (whatever that was). Glancing around, I was intrigued by so many people praying outdoors, and although I wondered could […]

A Modest Proposal for Ending the Shidduch Crisis (with apologies to Jonathan Swift)

Over the past few months I’ve started going to a shidduch club. Eshewing the traditional matchmaker model, our club essentially conducts a good natured swap meet for humans, each of us describing one or several singles we know, in the hope that someone listening will come forward with their beshert. Aside from our fastitidous attention […]

Should a Single Observant Woman in Her 30s Consider a Non Observant Spouse?

Last week, Rachel, a columnist in the Jewish Press (Chronicles of Crises in Our Communities), published a letter from an older single in which she is considering marry a not yet observant spouse. Here is a relevant excerpt: Recently I started dating someone who is considering becoming religious, to conduct a Torah household when he […]

The Parental Shidduch Crisis

By “Reuven” Let me make something clear from the outset. The crisis I’m addressing is not “out there.” It’s very alive within ME. There’s a very definite, if not controlled panic that is building up within my kishkes. The kind that slowly but surely weighs down the whole system til it becomes effectively dysfunctional. Oh, […]

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me a Match…

By “MG” While on some level, my mom probably still has the idea in the back of her head that I am going about my daily business with an inner monologue singing for someone slender and pale and waiting for a telephone call from The Matchmaker with “The One”, she acknowledges that she doesn’t _actually_ […]

What No One Wants to Talk About

Beyond Teshuva is now just about a a year and a half old. I think we,as a community, have done some great things. We’ve pretty much taken at least some small steps in the direction of our tag line “learning growing, giving”. Our posts have pretty much run the gamut from noserings to sartorial splendor, […]

Book Review: Shidduch Secrets

I was browsing the Aish website one day when I came across an article called “The Pickiness Factor”, the article was a shorter version of the first half of the book “Shidduch Secrets” written by Leah Jacobs and Shaindy Marks. I found certain aspects of this article to ring true to me and I decided […]

The Shidduchim Process – Marrying Off Your Children – Rabbi Yaakov Haber – Mp3

Today we’re posting an audio file from the Life After Teshuva conference, by Rabbi Yaakov Haber titled “The Shidduchim Process – Marrying Off Your Children”. (Click on the link to listen or to download the audio file to your computer, click with the right mouse button on the link and select Save Target As.) One […]

Shidduch Considerations – Seeing Challenges As Opportunities for Growth

My parents are divorced. No one else in my family is frum. I have a lot of non-Jewish cousins. Unfortunately, but realistically, my brothers will probably marry non-Jewish women. I live very far away from the rest of my family, seeing them about once a year. All of these things are not normative in the […]

How Do You Chose a Shadchan?

A friend writes in the following: Here’s a question that has become increasingly relevant to our family of late. How do you chose a Shadchan? Here’s the nitty gritty of our question. We are basically a yeshivish family (kollel, chinuch career) yet have been open minded in encouraging our daughter to attend college. We have […]

Denial & Balance in Dating & Beyond

I remember laughing at a cartoon (New Yorker magazine?) years ago of a yuppie-looking man and woman meeting at a party, both with expressions of obvious excitement on their faces. The thought-bubble above the man read: “Sex object.” The thought-bubble above the woman read: “Meal ticket.” Obviously, a match made in heaven. While that image […]

Reverse Discrimination in Dating

A friend of mine who is also a BT was recently dating a guy who was frum from birth. She really liked his personality, his enthusiasm and his sense of humor. There seemed to be a lot going for them as a couple, which is why they were introduced in the first place. But she […]

Shidduchim, the Dating Scene at Penn, and the Baalat Teshuva

If you can’t tell by now, I go to a secular university, but one that has a quite large frum population (around 300 including both undergrads and grads). The community is very Modern Orthodox, so shidduchim don’t happen around here so much. We’re all stuck on this campus for four years, and thus if anyone […]

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