Beyond BT

Baalei Teshuvah and Other Growth Oriented Jews

Thanksgiving and the BT – Roundup

It’s clear that Thanksgiving is an “issue” for many Baalei Teshuvah. In addition to Neil Harris’ Being Thankful for Thanksgiving, the issue has come up in numerous posts and comments. We have highlighted some of those posts and comments below. In Can You Really Get Everything You Want at Alice’s Restaurant?, Rachel Adler sought advice [...]

When the Secular Little Cousins become Teenage Cousins

Blast from the past originally published 9/17/2008. Fresh from my annual time share vacation with the secular family, I want to write for the Beyond BT readers on a topic that I think needs some further exploration and discussion. Logic says that the longer we are working things out with our secular family, the easier [...]

Uncle Martzi – The Son Who Wanted to Come Back

In the mid afternoon on Passover eve, a special guest would come to my parents home. Martzi Baci. Uncle Martin, my great uncle. I don’t recall him visiting us at any other time, only on Erev Pesach and for the Seders. His routine was as follows; he’d come in, take off his coat, light up [...]

A Letter to My Brother – Explaining Some Lifestyle Choices

This is the email I sent to my secular brother because he keeps asking me questions about my 21 year old son’s future. We live in Australia and he lives in America where I am from originally. It can be very challenging for BT’s to explain their lifestyle choices to the secular relatives. Even after [...]

My Non-Observant Sister’s Wedding

Hi, My sister got married on Sunday, and I have written down some thoughts I have, the day after. I wondered if I could post them to beyondbt, as I could use some chizuk from others who have experienced similar things. 7th November 2011 Last night they finally got married. And it’s a major anticlimax [...]

Dealing with Non-Frum Family Summary

A fellow BT has written a good summary about Dealing with Non-Frum Family based on some posts and comment threads on Beyond BT so we’re reposting it here with permission. There’s a lot of discussion about dealing with non-frum family in the Beyond BT site. It’s a hot topic for all baalei teshuva’s because we [...]

Trying to Keep the Peace

By Jonathan I first went to Yeshiva when I was in my mid-20′s after graduating college. My oldest brother’s wife is an unabashed Catholic. When he made what they call a bar-mitzvah, the pressure from my parents, who were alive at the time, was very great. My Rebbe called a well known Rov who was [...]

Chaim and David Linn – the Cover Story Article on Hamodia Magazine This Week

David Linn and his brother Chaim are the cover story of this week’s Hamodia, so we thought it was appropriate that we repost this piece and the great song Chaim wrote: Davey Pray mentioned in the Hamodia article. Yasher Koach also to regular Beyond BT contributor Michael Gros for penning the article. Live on the [...]

Guess Whose Not Coming to Dinner?

Ever since making aliya decades ago, I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I’ve been visited by collateral relatives. So it was with great excitement that I learned that cousin Adele her daughter Jan and Jan’s two young daughters would be in the Holy Land and that they wanted [...]

Question of the Week: What’s the Next Step?

Lisa writes: I have a younger brother who is not observant. Recently, he has been showing interest in Yiddishkeit. I’m concerned about being pushy or not supportive enough. Do I refer him to classes, a book, a Rabbi, something else? Any advice would be appreciated.

How a Planned Cremation was Changed to a Proper Jewish Burial

By Miriam Sidell This post is a follow up to a Question of the week from Dec 2, 2008 titled How Can I Prevent a Cremation? This is the story of how a planned cremation was changed to a proper Jewish burial, chasdei Hashem. Two years ago when my grandmother passed away at the age [...]

The Complexities of Eating Kosher at the Family Time Share

I am writing this from the condo, having just polished off the kosher dinner that I cooked and shlepped to the annual time share vacation that we participate in every year with my parents and brothers and their wives and children. The family rents the time share location for a full week but we ( [...]

A Palm Beach Thanksgiving: Fear and Self-Loathing in South Florida

By Adam Hilliard My family is very un-frum. I am, while very un-frum by the standards of most of the readers of these boards, what my family calls a religious maniac because I keep a kosher kitchen, daven, and manage to light Shabbat candles on occasion. My brother Aaron and his gentile wife live in [...]

Forever

By “From Within” I am going to live forever. No one told me this. In fact, there have been enough hints dropped, here and there, over the years, to make me believe that not everyone thinks so. But I know that other people believe they will live forever, too. They say they don’t – sometimes [...]

Sometimes I Hate Being a Baalas Teshuva

Hi, I am very upset right now with being a Baalas Teshuva. I have had it with having no frum relatives who understand what planet I fell off of. My siblings have married goyim, so that curtails a lot of family functions where my siblings children are coming with their goyish boyfriends all over them. [...]

More Tough Questions from Family: Thoughts or Actions

Last year I wrote a post on a question my mother asked me on shomer negia and why some Orthodox Jews hold to these laws more strictly than others. This post generated some really good discussion and I’m hoping that this next post will do the same. The question I am about to pose came [...]

The Invisible Curtain

“I just can’t understand it!’ my father said as he shook his handsome round face back and forth in bewilderment. He was in his mid 50′s and his luxurious full head of hair had been transformed from jet lack to distinguished salt and pepper. “We sent you to Temple Emanuel Hebrew school every Tuesday, Thursday, [...]

Thanksgiving – Sanctifying Hashem By Being a Mentsch

This article was originally posted on November 19th, 2006. For many BTs, Thanksgiving can be an easy or tortuous day to negotiate. R Gil Student posted a link to an article by R’ Michael Broyde that set forth the various views of Gdolim on the issue of partcicipating in the celebration and related issues such [...]

Thanksgiving – The Holiday where Turnabout is Fair Play

Today I got an email from Mark and David, with a call for more posts. Among the suggested headings was: Thanksgiving – the official holiday of BTs. Hmmm, I didn’t realize it was “The” official holiday! But then again, I get it. For me, it’s more a matter of it being: “Thanksgiving – The Holiday [...]

Negotiating Family Dynamics

I apologize for my long absence from this blog. I will use the excuse that I have had no time to write anything meaningful, but below are my reasons: 1. I graduated, moved to Houston, and began a new consulting job in summer 2006. 2. My husband stayed at Penn State to finish his degree. [...]

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