By FFB
I believe one of the most unique aspects of Judaism is the manner in which we transmit it to our future generations.
There is no Jewish Santa Claus. Whatever we tell our children, we believe ourselves. There is no place in Judaism for “Do as I say, not as I do” or “You can’t do that because I said so.†“WE can’t do that because HASHEM said so.†It makes it so much easier for parents to demand and children to obey when both are in it together, bowing to a Higher Authority.
The world’s concept of what constitutes “adult” behavior is off base. Adult movies? Adult toys? Adult entertainment? “Adult” often seems to equal filth. In Judaism, becoming an “adult” means accepting greater responsibility, more purity, more stringencies, not less.
A BT once told me that what impressed her most about a frum life was Shabbos zemiros. “Where else would you find fathers and children sitting around the table every week and singing together?â€
Dennis Prager once said, regarding American Independence Day, that perhaps the major reason Jews have been able to keep their national identity alive for 3,000 years, the last 2,000 of which were nearly all spent dispersed among other nations, is ritual. No national or cultural identity can survive without ritual, even if the group remains in its own country.
Prager states that American national holidays were originally established to commemorate the most significant national events and individuals in our history; they now exist primarily to provide us with a day off. This was reinforced by the nation’s decision to shift some of the holidays to a Monday — thereby losing the meaning of the specific date in order to afford us a three-day weekend.
Without national ritual, Prager says, national memory dies. And without a national memory, a nation dies. That is the secret at the heart of the Jewish people’s survival.
Prager continues that “When Jews gather at the Passover Seder — the most widely observed Jewish holiday — they recount the exodus from Egypt, an event that occurred 3,200 years ago. We Americans have difficulty keeping alive the memory of events that happened 231 years ago! How have the Jews managed to accomplish this? Through the ritual of the Passover Seder. Jews spend the evening recounting the Exodus from Egypt as if it happened to them. In the words of the Passover Haggadah ‘every person is obligated to regard himself as if he himself left Egypt.’ The story is retold in detail, and it is told as if it happened to those present at the Seder, not only to those who lived it 3,200 years ago.
“That has to be the motto of the July Fourth ‘Seder’. We all have to retell the story, in as much detail as possible, while regarding ourselves as if we, no matter when we or our ancestors came to America — were present at the nation’s founding in 1776.
“The Seder achieves the feat not only through detailed recitation of the story, but through engaging the interest of the youngest of those at the table (indeed, they are its primary focus), through special food, through song and through relevant prayer.
“But someone — or many someones — must come up with a July Fourth Seder. A generation of Americans with little American identity — emanating from little American memory — has already grown into adulthood. The nation whose founders regarded it as the ‘Second Israel’ must now learn how to survive from the First.â€
The Seder rituals – Four Questions to Afikoman-snatching and everything in between – are mainly about transmitting to our children the story of Yetzias Mitzrayim, which forms the basis of our heritage, in the most vivid and memorable way. Prager recognizes that the secret to Jewish survival is our adherence to tradition and the manner in which we transmit it to the next generation. Now if only all of us would realize this, we would be fulfilling our obligation to Hashem and the eternity of His chosen nation.
I admit “some people” and “they” are wild exaggerations. I used the plural forms to soften my exasperated tone, hopefully. Sorry for my outburst. In fact almost all comments are on topic (and all are mostly on topic) as well as thoghtful and in no way disrespectful. Thank you everyone. Chag Kosher vSameach.
FFB, I think you’re over reacting. I re-read every comment twice and there is scant evidence of a frum-bashing forum here. Pesach is also about unity.
Isn’t it fascinating the way some people manage to turn a perfectly benign post into a frum-bashing forum? I assume after delving into all the halachic and hashkafic ins and outs of chukas hagoy and other pertinent questions expounded upon by the poskim throughout the ages, they have come to the scholarly conclusion that this is an unnecessary “chumra”. Now if only all American Jews observed July 4, oh what a perfect world it would be.
Nathan,
At my Shabbos table, if you don’t sing zemiros you don’t get dessert.
We have to be careful when quoting from a writer who is not fully committed to Torah, because he/she can place the emphasis on the less important things and pass over (!) what matters most. Certainly there are very sound reasons for having rituals, or whatever we want to label them, but, as Mark said above, these have their true value only in a certain context, our service and obedience to HaShem.
Ellen, I agree that performing rituals is better than not performing them.
But I also think that the transition from mitzvah to ritual has been detrimental to the Jewish People.
And to take it a step further, the performance of mitzvah without conscious recognition of the Commander of the mitzvah has been detrimental to many observant Jews.
“The focus on ritual and tradition instead of Hashem Himself and relating to Him through the mitzvos has cost us many Jewish Neshamas in the last century as the rituals lost there meaning to many.â€
I see 6 of one and a half dozen of the other here.The relationship I have with Hashem is personal, and while I can try my best to convey my connection to Him to the next generations (children and grandchildren, and students for that matter) it may or may not resonate with them.
But Mark, I truly believe one shouldn’t underestimate the power of the rituals. In my own experience, I became a BT because while my Holocaust-surviving once frum mother ended up compromising her frumkeit to accomodate my American-born Conservative father, what she did insist on, e.g.keeping kosher, keeping Pesach (even though our sedarim were abbreviated with our Maneschewitz haggados), Shabbos meals, even decorating our closed-in porch instead of a sukkah, etc., combined with my father’s strong sense of Jewish identity, gave me a sense of beauty and belonging which made me want to explore further.
Without the ritual, give it a generation or two, and Yiddishkeit winds down to oblivion.
Long -remembered rituals (and it’s often a seder at zeide’s house) is often the spark that can ignite a return.
As for kids that go off the derech, the ritual is not the turn-off nearly as much as the way the message is delivered. For that, frum parents and yeshivos need to continue to explore what’s been going wrong (but that is for another thread). Often, it’s the ritual that still binds the off-the-derech population, because many of them stay together as a group, and as they get older, many of them often inspire each other to go back to their roots.
As for July 4th, there is observance. It’s called parades, picnics, and fireworks. Many of the frum have taken on the “chumrah”, however, of not observing the July 4th and don’t even get me started on that one.
FFB wrote:
*** A BT once told me that what impressed her most about a frum life was Shabbos zemiros. “Where else would you find fathers and children sitting around the table every week and singing together?†***
I protest against sons who do not join their fathers in song when their fathers sing zemirot at the Shabbat table. It is so easy for them to do, and it means so very much to their fathers. So why are there Jewish sons who do not do it?
Even worse are sons who speak empty chatter at the Shabbat table while their fathers are singing only a few feet away. This seems disrespectful to me.
Disclosure:
This post was originally intended for the “What is Torah” series, only Mr. Praeger made it much longer than 500 words. I think it reads differently in that context.
Is it really adherence to tradition and ritual that keeps Judaism alive?
For the future generations, yes. And without future generations there is no Jewish people. Of course it all depends where the tradition and ritual originated from, or where the parents believe it originated from, and this is where Praeger is wrong. In his essay he adds:
“Obviously, just as secular Jews tend to avoid the prayer part of the Haggadah, so, too, secular Americans are free to avoid the prayer part of an American Seder Book.”
I ommited it because this demands a lengthy refute but I’ll try to make it quick.
Mark says,
“The focus on ritual and tradition instead of Hashem Himself and relating to Him through the mitzvos has cost us many Jewish Neshamas in the last century as the rituals lost there meaning to many.”
True. Once tradition and ritual is man made, or believed to be man made, it loses its significance and ultimately its appeal. That’s why July 4 will never approach the majesty and power of Pesach.
Same goes for Yom Atzma’ut and Yom Zikaron, but I won’t open this can of worms again. Thanks for the comment though, Gary. Even at the Seder we “celebrate” our suffering by eating maror.
Is it really adherence to tradition and ritual that keeps Judaism alive?
Mitzvos deepen our relationship to Hashem and increase our awareness of His existence. To me, that’s the essence of what we are passing on – there is a G-d and He’s involved with us and He wants us to be involved with Him.
With all due respect to Dennis Praeger, I think the focus on ritual and tradition instead of Hashem Himself and relating to Him through the mitzvos has cost us many Jewish Neshamas in the last century as the rituals lost there meaning to many.
I have heard that a reason for Pesach and Tisha B’Av falling on the same day of the week is to serve as a reminder that freedom comes with cost and responsibility.
A similar analogy can be applied to Yom HaZikaron and Yom Ha’Atzma’ut.
We should approach the American holidays of Memorial Day and the Fourth of July from the same perspective. The Fourth of July celebrates our liberation from a tyrant. Memorial Day and a related holiday, Veteran’s Day, give us the opportunity for display of Hakarat HaTov (acknowledgement of the good deeds) of those service men and women who either died to protect our freedom, and those who, to our good fortune, are still living after having defended our liberty.