A Yeshivish Fourth of July to All

Gettysburg Address – English Version
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war.

We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live.

It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this…The world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.

It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here for the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced.

It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us–that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of their devotion– that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain–that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom–and that the government of the people, by the people, and for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Gettysburg Address – Yeshivish Translation
Be’erech a yoivel and a half ago, the meyasdim shtelled avek on this makom a naiya malchus with the kavana that no one should have bailus over their chaver, and on this yesoid that everyone has the zelba zchusim.

We’re holding by a geferliche machloikes being machria if this medina, or an andere medina made in the same oifen and with the same machshovos, can have a kiyum.

We are all mitztaref on the daled amos where a chalois of that machloikes happened in order to be mechabed the soldiers who dinged zich with each other.

We are here to be koiveia chotsh a chelek of that karka as a kever for the bekavodike soldiers who were moiser nefesh and were niftar to give a chiyus to our nation.

Yashrus is mechayev us to do this… Lemaise, hagam the velt won’t be goires or machshiv what we speak out here, it’s zicher not shayach for them to forget what they tued uf here.

We are mechuyav to be meshabed ourselves to the melocha in which these soldiers made a haschala–that vibalt they were moiser nefesh for this eisek, we must be mamash torud in it–that we are all mekabel on ourselves to be moisif on their peula so that their maisim should not be a bracha levatulla– that Hashem should give the gantze oilam a naiya bren for cheirus– that a nation that shtams by the oilam, by the oilam, by the oilam, will blaib fest ahd oilam.

Weiser, Chaim M. 1995. The First Dictionary of Yeshivish. Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson, P. xxxiii.

9 comments on “A Yeshivish Fourth of July to All

  1. Judy Resnick your suggestion for a BBQ is great, and your concern about “The only problem might be female relatives who dress like it’s a water park.” reminds me of a comment I once heard from Rabbi Lau, then Rav of Modi’in (Now Chief Rabbi of Israel)
    He commented that even in a secular city like Modi’in people take Mitzvot very seriously; there were even women who were so worried about Shatnez that they would minimize the amount of clothing to reduce the chance that inadvertently they would transgress this serious Biblical Prohibition.

    Although as you said, if you are around women who are Makpid on Shatnez, spend your time looking at the food on the grill to make sure it doesn’t burn, and keep your mind off the surroundings.

  2. I never in a million years dreamed there was a way to read this clever and amusing uptaytsh of the Gettysburg Address as an insult to America or Abe Lincoln or the dead at Gettysburg or anyone. I thought it was a way to poke fun at ourselves. I still think so!

    [A] nation that shtams by the oilam, by the oilam, by the oilam …

    Brilliant!

  3. To MP #6: No, on or around November 19th, we actually have the big debate about spending Thanksgiving with non-religious relatives, plus how to handle Shabbat Thanksgiving. Last year’s posting contributor mentioned that this year 2010 his child would be in Yeshiva on that Friday morning, changing what’s involved in the issue of whether to go to his non-frum in-laws for the whole holiday weekend including Shabbos or just for Thursday. There was a lot of lively back-and-forth on the topic, with many helpful suggestions from different commentators.

    July 4th weekend (will also be a long weekend next year) seems to be less of a traditional family get-together weekend than Thanksgiving is, mainly because July 4th isn’t always tied to a long weekend but can and does occur on any day of the week.

    For those who want to chill out with family members, July 4th is the greatest. Invite everyone over, throw Glatt Kosher burgers and franks on the grill, serve Pas Yisroel buns and bread, O-U potato salad and cole slaw, encourage brochos and bentshing, and a good time should be had by all. The only problem might be female relatives who dress like it’s a water park. So have towels or bibs ready to throw over their skimpy attire. Or stay focused on the meat browning on the grill and not on what the gals are wearing.

  4. I agree with Judy Resnick, the aim ws not to make fun of Abraham Lincoln, ztz”l, who was not only a great orator, but a great president and human being as well.

    I found myself struck again by the power and simplicity of Lincoln’s words. We learned this by heart in 5th grade, and the words have only gained depth since then. No joke, we should daven there should be such manhigim in our malcus shel chessed.

  5. I think that the original idea behind this was to “teitsh” a famous English speech into Yeshivishe “sprach,” just to show the use of Yeshivish and how it flavors English. It was not to make fun of America or of Abraham Lincoln.

    I would like to tell another story in honor of Independence Day, July 4th: When the Daf Yomi siyum organizers originally approached the owners of Madison Square Garden years ago about hiring the famous arena for their Siyum HaShas, they patiently explained to the non-Jewish owners that they make a “party” once every seven-and-a-half years to celebrate finishing the Talmud after studying one page every day. The owner (or his agent, I’m not exactly sure who made the remark, but it was some non-Jewish person involved in the management of Madison Square Garden) said to the Daf Yomi people: “Rabbi, why don’t you study two pages of Talmud a day? Then you can make your party twice as often!”

    Let’s all say “G-d Bless America” after hearing that suggestion. It’s not that long ago that the KGB in Communist Russia sent rabbis to Siberia for teaching the Talmud. In medieval France, wagon loads of handwritten volumes of the Talmud were burned at the stake.

    And here in America, this wonderful country of freedom: “Rabbi, why don’t you study twice as much Talmud?”

    G-d Bless America. Everybody who owns a flag, do as Rabbi Avigdor Miller zatzal did: fly it proudly on July 4th.

  6. 1. At the very least, we should thank America for enabling the invention of the Yeshivish language, for its utility and comic relief.

    2. Is it possible that this is both a Goyishe Medina and a Malchus Shel Chesed?

  7. This was cute, but hardly in the sense of Hakaras HaTov that should be second nature for those of us who view the US in RMF’s works as a Malchus Shel Chesed, as opposed to a Goyishe Medina whose laws are to evaded whenever convenient.

Comments are closed.