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Spiritual Growth for Jews

Turning the Tables on the Constant Test of Summertime Immodesty

Posted on | June 16, 2014 | By Guest Contributor | 7 Comments

By Rabbi Yonah Levant
The entire zechus of this post should accrue to, and contribute to the immediate freeing of the Yeshiva bochrim kidnapped by terrorists:
1. Yaakov Naftali ben Rachel Devorah,
2. Gilad Michael ben Bat Galim
3. Eyal ben Iris Teshurah

The 1st Mishna is Pirkei Avos, Chapter 2 says:
Rabbi [Yehuda haNasi] said:…
Be careful with a minor mitzvah (commandment) as with a major one, for you do not know the reward for the mitzvos. Consider the loss incurred for performing a mitzvah compared to its reward, and the ‘reward’ received for sinning compared to the loss….

The two parts of the Mishnah, the encouragement to keep mitzvos, and the steeling oneself to avoid aveirah, seem to be distinct and can be fully understood independent of each other. It seems.

I saw a chiddush (novel insight) that manages to link the סוֹר מרע (turn away from bad) with the עשה טוב (do good) in a way that can have a very big impact on a person’s entire relationship to Hashem.

This is based on what we all intuitively know – that it is most worthwhile to daven to Hashem during an עת רצון (time of divine favor). “Worthwhile,” in terms of having one’s tefilos heard and accepted. The Ohr HaChaim on the pasuk ואתחנן אל ה’ בעת ההיא לאמר (and I davened to Hashem in that time saying) explains that the בעת ההיא (in that time) meant that it was an עת רצון (time of divine favor), and that is why Moshe davened then. Moshe knew when it was an עת רצון (time of divine favor) and he took full advantage to daven then.

Wouldn’t we love to know when there is an עת רצון (time of divine favor), or better yet, be able to create such a thing, by ourselves!

Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein shlita of Bnei Brak quotes the Ba’al Sefer Shomer Emunim who says that whenever one does a mitzvah, it is an עת רצון (time of divine favor). And especially when one sees inappropriate scenes, pritsus (immodesty), and one looks away with proper שמירת עיניים (guarding of one’s eyes) , that creates a עת רצון (time of divine favor) such that your tefillos will certainly be accepted by Hashem.

What does this mean to us? What does it mean to us who live in a very degraded generation in terms of tsnius (modesty), and what does it mean to us in terms of our lives as Jews, in the Big Picture.

Before this insight, a person might feel overwhelmed by a non-tsnius (immodest) world, especially in the summer, where one is put to the test all the time. A person might end up feeling aggravated endlessly, that the world is so antagonistic to Torah observance. You can’t look around and walk around like a normal person. You always have to be on edge, like in a battle.

And Shemiras Aynayim (guarding ones eyes) is a tricky business, since willpower doesn’t stop your optic nerve from working! The Ran in Nedarim says (I don’t have the source location) “אבל עיניו ואזניו של אדם אינם ברשותו, שהרי על כרחו יראח בעיניו ובאזניו ישמע.” – (but the eyes and ears of a man are not his possession, because one sees with his eyes and hears with his ears, even when he doesn’t want to). So, it’s a mitzvah where you practically start off on the wrong foot all the time! You see something inappropriate and only then do you look away.

If you need to be on the street, or driving, etc. you can’t prevent your eye from seeing something un-tsnius (immodest) if it (or her) steps right in front of you. The chiyuv (obligation) is obviously to look away immediately. So, it is a nisayon (test) of great proportions, considering that a healthy human being is not Parev (neutral) about these things. It pulls at a person’s very base nature. If the mitzvah of Shemiras Aynayim (guarding ones eyes) was to avoid looking at wool, it would be much easier to observe, even though wool is also everywhere! Nobody has a deep desire for looking at wool!

So, a person can be exhausted and aggravated from the ongoing nisayon (test) , even if he is successful! Or, chas v’shalom (G-d forbid), a person can give up the fight, and not keep the mitzvah, and abandon that level of kedushah (holiness) that Hashem wants of every single Yid.

With the insight of the Shomer Emunim, a person can change each nisayon (test) of Shemiras Aynayim (and any other aveirah nisayon (trangression test)) into an opportunity for tremendous dveykus (closeness) to Hashem. When one looks away, one can proclaim “Hashem, I am yours, I do not belong to the street! And since I am yours, and since I am overcoming my desires, for You, please help me with…” A person can become Davek to Hashem amidst the shmutz of our world. A person can grow, because of the opportunity hidden within the nisayon (test). “I am not looking Hashem, because I am yours! I am not theirs!”

Rav Zilberstein in his sefer טובך יביעו ח”ב עמ’סח quotes an unnamed Godol who said that a person who doesn’t practice Shemiras Aynayim sullies his davening and learning which require Kedushah. But it also robs him of his ability to get real pleasure and sweetness from learning, and davening, and the like.

You essentially end up switching the forbidden pleasure for the pleasure Hashem wanted you to have in dveykus (closeness) with Him through a geshmak (wonderful feeling) in learning, a heartfelt davening, etc.

I think it was the Steipler Gaon zatzal who was quoted (2008 Men’s tsnius asifah in Lakewood, Rav Wachsman drosho) as saying that when a person foregoes a forbidden pleasure, because of Hashem’s Will, then he will get a תשלומים, an equivalent, a replacement pleasure through Avodas Hashem. He will find real pleasure, real earthly pleasure in davening, or learning, or some other kosher venue. You will not lose out, says the Steipler Gaon.

Let us all try to turn this constant test into an opportunity to have our prayers answered, especially in this troubling time.

Comments

7 Responses to “Turning the Tables on the Constant Test of Summertime Immodesty”

  1. Larry Lennhoff
    June 16th, 2014 @ 10:03 am

    Please don’t look away from immodestly clad people if your car is in motion. The obligation to save lives trumps the requirement to guard your eyes.

  2. Bob Miller
    June 16th, 2014 @ 12:01 pm

    This issue has ramifications for pros and amateurs in kiruv. Often, the Jews they interact with will be ignorant of, indifferent to, or even disdainful of the halachic dress code until some real progress is made. Without eye contact, how does the kiruv process with such people even begin?

  3. Mark Frankel
    June 16th, 2014 @ 5:27 pm

    Larry, I think the author and our readers know that, but thanks for pointing it out.

    As you’ve probably noticed, ones field of vision can be modified and it is often the case that you can narrow that focus to just the road and exclude immodest sights.

  4. Mark Frankel
    June 16th, 2014 @ 5:33 pm

    Bob, you’re right that this is a problem for kiruv professionals, especially the ones on college campuses. I have a friend who left campus kiruv for that reason.

    I imagine the ones that stay work very hard to try to minimize what they look at.

    My friends who work in Manhattan tell me this is a daily challenge for them in the summer.

    However, I believe we all have to work on this problem unless we work and live in an enclave community.

  5. Charlie Hall
    June 16th, 2014 @ 9:22 pm

    Take a sefer with you everywhere you go. And take public transit so you don’t have to pay attention to the road.

  6. sharona
    June 17th, 2014 @ 4:11 am

    thanks for the tip on creating an etz ratzon for prayers

  7. David_L
    June 17th, 2014 @ 10:47 am

    You could put on tefillin when you’re at risk of encountering inappropriate sights, and touch them when an event happens, as a reminder to maintain proper thoughts. :)

    As a more practical alternative, you could imagine that you’re wearing tefillin.

    Actually there’s a web site, guardyoureyes.com, that’s dedicated to this topic.

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