One Shabbos afternoon, after eating Shalosh Seudos and waiting for bentching, I went to the Shul to learn. An acquaintance walked in and the conversation turned to him making negative comments about speeches in Shul.
I related that Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss said that each week we have a golden opportunity to listen to the words our Rav prepared for us.
He replied, “the drasha is a good time to take a nap”.
I said, “a good shiur can be remembered for life”, and I related a Rabbi Frand Teshuva drasha in which he said we should think about how we want to be remembered. What three words would we want on our matzevah (monument)?
He asked me, “So what three words do you want to be remembered by?”.
Without hesitation, I said “a Baal Teshuva”.
He said “Why stop there? Why not strive to become a tzaddik? Be remembered for that.”
I told him “That’s ridiculous as that word is insanely overused and most likely beyond my reach. Besides, being a Baal Teshuva constantly energizes me. Looking forward to every Shabbos. Not getting bored and set in my davening. Feeling the excitement of every Yom Tov. Powered by being a BT, that’s how I feel.”
I later called a friend to discuss the incident. We came to the conclusion that he probably pictured BTs as know-little types. We both agreed that unfortunately some BTs do stay in the beginners phase and never learn their way beyond it.
However, as an FFB, he probably never could relate to the aspect of a BT to which I was referring. The energy that we can bring to every aspect of our Avodah, because that’s how we approached Judaism. I want to be remembered as someone who was always growing, and to me being a BT is what set my on that path.
Zev From Baltimore
I think there are two posts here — “napping during the drosha” and “what three words would you like to be remembered by?”
Unless we resolve them by, “I stayed awake”?
Aish HaTorah alumni should, in particular, appreciate that one, because R’ Noach z’l used to always rail about frum “zombies” who are not living in the moment, demanding more from themselves and from the world, and at least aspiring toward growth.
Someone who knows he’s going to nap during the Rov’s drosha strikes me as a frum zombie, even if it’s because he’s in the wrong shul.
Isn’t that what Chazal tell us about the greatness of Aharon HaKohen? That Aharon performed every Mitzvah with the same zest as if he was doing it for the very first time. His five thousandth davening was with the same enthusiasm as his first davening. LIkewise Sarah Imeinu, about whom Chazal tells us that all of the days of her 127 years were alike in beauty and piety and mitzvos.
The outlook of freshness that the “typical” BT has (even if one has to really dig back in their own memory banks) is something that Yiddishkeit encourages, starting with Modeh Ani in the morning,
Some people are comfortable with the fact that they’re BTs. To others, it’s a badge of shame.
On the one hand, you state, “Besides, being a Baal Teshuva constantly energizes me. Looking forward to every Shabbos. Not getting bored and set in my davening. Feeling the excitement of every Yom Tov. Powered by being a BT, that’s how I feel.”
On the other hand, you also state, “We both agreed that unfortunately some BTs do stay in the beginners phase and never learn their way beyond it.”
Trust me, my friend. If this is the way you are talking to others, you are still well-entrenched in the “beginners phase” of being a BT, that you apparently deride, no matter how long you have been shomer torah u’mitzvos.
Write on your kever the three words TORAH AND MITZVOS.
Bob – Amen!
I have also found that I learn more about Judaism and where my “neshama is holding” so to speak when I forced to confront and struggle with the arguments of those I disagree with whether they come from the secular world on one hand or the charedi on the other.
Based on my experience, always interacting and staying within the comfort zone of one’s own community I think can be intellectually stifling and breeds animosity and a self-righteous, condescending attitude for Jews of other stripes.
Even listening to a sermon that I totally object to is a useful experience, since it gets me thinking and going back to sources. It’s worn out reruns with no glint of originality that have put me to sleep.