By David Klinghoffer
For all its outward vigor, the Orthodox community, which is my own, appears to harbor a sickness. You don’t have to be an ideological critic of traditional Judaism to wonder if the cause should be sought in Orthodoxy itself.
The past year has brought what seems like a never-ending stream of financial or sexual scandals. Prominent rabbis have been charged with money-laundering. The scandal unleashed by accounts of mistreatment of workers and animals in a kosher meat facility continues to reverberate. An influential rabbi specializing in conversions allegedly conducted a squalid relationship with a woman wishing to convert. There have been repulsive accounts of molestation of boys in yeshivas. Most recently, a prominent rabbi and communal powerbroker was charged with trying to extort money from a hedge fund.
Of course, not every allegation turns out to be true (and you certainly cannot believe everything you read, especially on the Internet with its bias in favor of grudges and witch-hunts). Yet the pattern of accusations can’t be coincidental.
For a convert or a baal teshuvah, like me, the greatest stumbling block to faith may indeed be the Orthodox community itself. If Torah is true, why do Torah Jews not stand out as particularly impressive? Deuteronomy says of our Torah observance: “It is your wisdom and discernment in the eyes of the peoples, who shall hear all these decrees and who shall say, ‘Surely a wise and discerning people is this great nation’†(4:6). No one would say such a thing of us today. How can this be?
The answer, I think, lies in the nature of Torah that has allowed its adherents to persist for millennia. While liberal Jewish movements inevitably fade into the broader gentile society, traditional Judaism survives thanks to a hedge of religious laws that keep Jews somewhat separate from others: “Behold! It is a nation that will dwell in solitude and not be reckoned among the nations†(Numbers 23:9). Paradoxically, our ministering to and illuminating humanity as the “kingdom of priests†(Exodus 19:6) that God calls us to be is conditioned on this apartness from other people.
But insularity also has its risks. For communities, as for individual human beings, there’s a madness that often goes with spending too much time by yourself. Reality becomes a little unreal. So too, alas, in our Orthodox world.
At times you feel you are on Planet Frum, where eccentricities and trivialities — “Orthodox†jargon and accents, minutely observed quirks of attire, tribal foods — loom large, as if reflected in a funhouse mirror. This is pronouncedly so on the East Coast (which is one reason I moved to Seattle). For example, not long ago I was talking with a young woman who grew up in a Hasidic community. I was trying to get clear what exactly distinguished her former community from other Hasidic groups. Her answer kept coming back not to beliefs but to styles of socks and hats.
I recall another conversation with a New York woman, Modern Orthodox, who was seeking to locate another woman along the spectrum of religiosity. “Basically, she wears pants and eats fish out,†was her summary statement that would sound insane to any outsider. (She meant the other woman doesn’t strictly observe rules regarding modesty in attire or not eating in non-kosher restaurants.)
In an insular community, Torah can easily be reduced to cosa nostra — merely “our thing,†a game of chess with arcane rules that bear no meaning outside a narrow context. The serious danger lies in Judaism becoming a hermetically sealed environment, irrelevant and indifferent to the world. The highest ethics and values to be found in the wider society — which Judaism praises as derech eretz — are then minimized or even discarded as somehow goyish.
The visionary spokesman of Modern Orthodoxy in 19th-century Germany, Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch, warned of the peril Jews face in living up to our calling. In his Torah commentary, Hirsch wrote, “The sanctification of certain persons, things, times or places can very easily result in the pernicious idea that holiness and sanctification are limited to these persons, things, times and places. With the giving over of these things to holiness, the tribute has been paid, and the demand of holiness for everything else has been bought off.â€
If you have “bought off†the Torah’s call to be holy by sanctifying yourself and your community, while ignoring all else, it becomes easier to overlook behaviors that run the gamut from silly to grotesque or worse.
When I lived in New York, I saw countless instances of Orthodox Jews behaving in public with little refinement or dignity. Visit the Kiddush table on Shabbos morning at many a shul. Grown men and women push and grab for food with all the manners and elegance that I regularly observe in my 2-year-old twins. Isolation from outsiders has something to do with it. In our bubble floating undisturbed through the world, we forget how to behave.
With our childishness goes a naiveté that may also explain how abusers are able to get away with it. Rabbis are regarded with childlike reverence. There is a guileless, ingenuous failure to confront reality.
The picture of a tragedy is complete when you consider how our unimpressiveness, our mediocrity, assures that even if we suddenly decided to accept the priestly role that God commanded us to fill, the world would hardly take us seriously. The credibility we might have, we have squandered.
I note this in sadness and frustration, not because I have any immediate remedy to propose. However, we can at least put the matter into its proper spiritual context, understanding that God appears to have built directly into the Torah the dilemma in which we’re caught. There is a necessary separation between clergy and congregation — the Jews and other men and women. Without it, there can be no priesthood. But isolation carries with it a risk that must be vigilantly guarded against.
By our observing Shabbat or kashrut, the Torah intends to remind us of our high calling, not to dispense us from it. It’s hard to avoid the impression that this year has been, as a rabbi friend suggested to me, a wake-up call from God.
David Klinghoffer is a senior fellow at the Discovery Institute and the author of “The Lord Will Gather Me In: My Journey to Jewish Orthodoxy†(Free Press, 1998). He writes the Kingdom of Priests blog on Beliefnet.
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Originally published in the Forward
To Bob Miller #33: A good current American example of an action which is illegal under prevailing civil law but is not a sin would be hiring a worker who does not have legal authorization to work in the United States, such as an individual who is here on a visitor’s visa. If the worker is paid on time the agreed-upon wage then it is not an aveirah under the Shulchan Aruch, yet under American civil law it is illegal for a visitor to work in the United States.
DY wrote, “there are things which, though they are not in accordance with prevailing civil law, are not actually aveiros. the fact that something is illegal does not automatically make it a sin.”
DY, what are some current American examples?
Bob, I do believe that even frum people are capable of evil. My head is not stuck in the sand.My point was only that sometimes the knee-jerk reaction is that, of course, they are guilty and being frum is just a hoax…
as far as secular authorities needing to get involved: white collar crime is a funny thing. there are things which, though they are not in accordance with prevailing civil law, are not actually aveiros. the fact that something is illegal does not automatically make it a sin. of course, dina d’malchusa dina – but only because we are bound to listen to this authority, not because of the intrinsic evil of the act. while the actions of those who break the law are illegal and prosecutable (if there is sucvh a word), there would not be anything for Rabbonim/Bais Din to get involved with…and many of those who are convicted of white collar crime were unaware that they were committing any crime at all. community groups like Agudah are now doing their best to educate people about what is and is not legal. and Rabbanim are certainly at the forefront of that effort.
DY,
Do you change your opinion when a Jew caught up in crime has been convicted, or do you believe that convictions, like articles in the mass media, are trumped-up and false? In Jewish media, I often see expressions of this view, which look a lot like wishful thinking.
Also, why is it that the secular authorities need to get involved at all? Are our internal moral controls and our beis din system unable to do their jobs properly? If so, our leaders and communities need to set things in order.
like all the other readers, I too am saddened by the horror of our times, exposes of frum people cast in the role of criminals. Hashem yerachem! We need Mashiach, all of us – the Modern Orthodox, the Chassidish, the unaffiliated, the yeshivishe, ALL OF US. This is what galus means. We are running on a compromised operating system because our relationship with Hashem is in a depleted, crippled state. these horrors are just further symptoms of that painful fact. Sometimes we come up against this reality with the shidduch crisis, sometimes with the list of those waiting for medical miracles, sometimes in the staggering crush of financial situations burdening those who were formerly self-sufficient…it’s all the same. There is no one scapegoat in any of these situations that trouble our communities. This is from Hashem. That does not mean that we as individuals or collectively as a community are above reproach. We need yeshuos, period.
This is not to say that we may believe what has been said about those accused of these crimes. The media – especially, due to our sins, the jewish media – love to pick up on the barest hint of an implication muttered against a religious Jew.
So now I ask, do you WANT to believe the rumors, the articles? Because if you do want to believe these things before they have been proven (REALLY proven, not by a media expose), without knowing the facts, you must know that you, too, are presenting behavior that is no less reprehensible than what the accused has supposedly done.
With respect, I would ask whoever feels compelled to believe these things without real proof the following question: what are your identifications? Is it easier for you to believe what a reporter writes (perhaps to create a stir or to redress his own issues and promote his own agenda) than it is to believe in the inherent goodness of a shomer Torah u’mitzvos life? Is it easier for you to believe that a frum life can so easily be rotten at the core than that the bastion of establishment (the media) might be propelled by a force that um, actually…gee, it might not be pure, objective EMES?…
This is not to say that no frum person commits a crime, just that the way we look at it when it happens should give us pause. If you feel more inclined to see the darkness than the light, know that your vision might need a good looking after because you and me and the guy in the headlines – we are all in galus today, no matter where we live, and we have been affected by that whether we know it or not.
The bottom line is, as the Sefer Hachinuch teaches us, mitzvah observance is supposed to be a transformative learning experience. From my perspecive as someone who was not raised in a frum home, I know that my attitudes are a work in progress. The default setting was not that I would believe that keeping Torah and mitzvos would make me a better, worthier person. As I continue to travel down this road I have deepened my understanding of just what doing a mitzvah is supposed to be doing for me. It is supposed to be changing me. Sometimes I feel it, most times I do not. But if I did not believe that the goal is attainable, if I never felt its transformative power on the fringes of my consciousness, I wouldn’t want to persue this lifestyle and I too wouldn’t believe that frum people are any less inclined to be heinous criminals, either…
Jack Abrahamoff was/is a BT, FWIW.
These days, the need is to change appearance before televised arrest! Or, better yet, not become arrest-bait to begin with.
There is a narrative that I read years ago in an issue of the Jewish Observer, the bimonthly magazine of Agudath Israel of America. The JO related the story of “Yehonatan Z.” who was sentenced to jail for some underhanded financial dealings. “Yehonatan Z.” was recognizably by his long sidecurls and distinctive dress a member of the XYZ subgroup of Orthodox Judaism. Before the Page 1 newsphotos could be taken by an unfriendly press corps of “Yehonatan Z.” being led off to jail, the man cut off his long sidecurls and donned ordinary American everyday clothing. He went to jail not as “Yehonatan Z.” the dishonest Orthodox Jewish felon but as “Johnny Z.” a bareheaded clean-shaven guy from the street. A noted rav exclaimed at that time, “Yehonatan Z. won himself Olam Haba with that action” (refusing to allow his individual bad deeds to cause massive Chillul Hash-m against the whole community).
The world goes by appearances, and, unfortunately, we often do, too.
After reading this article, 2 things come to mind.
First, the number of “Orthodox” Jews involved in the above stated scandals are probably a lower percentage proportionally than that of the general population, even the general Jewish population. Even so, IMHO, even ONE Jew involved in these types of scandals is one too many. But, we are so easily identifiable by way of our style of dress etc., it’s difficult to go unnoticed. Also, Jews (& especially “Orthodox” Jews) are held to a higher standard than your average Joe American.
Second, Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski, has an interesting response to questions posed to him about frum Jews who cheat in business, mistreat their families, have inappopriate relationships, etc. He maintains that such an individual cannot be called frum because they are clearly in violation of halacha, much in the same way as one who eats treif or violates the Sabbath.
Now, if we could just get the rest of the world to see this…..
For about 2000 years, from the time of the Romans through the European feudal lords, Nazis and Communists, Jews have lived under hostile regimes. They quickly learned two rules of survival: 1. Bribery, on all levels from the lowest local official to the highest ranks of government, was an expected practice. 2. Fines and taxes were levied not only for revenue but to collectively punish Jews, and so it was meritorious to minimize these payments as much as possible. Given these harsh conditions, much of the rabbinic and the midrashic literature over the centuries discusses paying bribes, and not paying taxes, as a normal Jewish way of life. It has only been in the last fifty years or so, and only in free societies like Australia, Canada or the U.S.A., that Jews have had the novel experience of living in countries where taxation is fair and bribery is outlawed. Those elderly Jews who formerly lived in Communist Eastern Europe still remember having to trade on the black market and hide their income or otherwise risk starvation and imprisonment. The rule of “dina d’malchusa dina” (the law of the country is halacha) could never be observed in countries that wanted Jews to disappear or die. Because this phenomenon of actually being welcome in our host countries is so recent, the major halachic works never dealt with some of the modern ethical issues in financial matters.
There is a famous moshol about a rabbi who was walking with a soap manufacturer. They passed by a group of filthy children playing in the mud. The rabbi exclaimed to the soap manufacturer, “Your soap doesn’t work! Look at how dirty those children are!” The soap manufacturer protested,”Rabbi, there’s nothing wrong with our soap! If they would only use it, they would be sparkling clean.” The rabbi smiled and said, “Aha….”
Mr. Cohen, did you start that Derech Emet group?
About two years ago, I started to pray every day for help to avoid committing Chillul HaShem and also that I should be granted help to achieve Kiddish HaShem. I recite this additional prayer with almost every weekday Shemoney Esrei, and I recommend it for all Jews.
Tesyaa:
Good question, I don’t know either. But being from a family with “yichus” or money or any other artificial measure is no guarantee that a person will not end up among the “lowly” or criminal. The hard one is where the malfeasant is a Torah scholar.
The only real answer is that people are human, and the yetzer hara is strong, and people delude themselves as to right and wrong.
Today’s Jewish folkways (including those imported from the surrounding big city society) have to be measured against the Torah ideal, and not against our comfort level or our impression of what others have done or are doing.
Belle – I don’t know the answer to this: but why are so many of the “lowly, vulgar” etc. turning out to be people who not just seemed average, but seemed to be among the greats? And now, things are not what they seemed.
Just a super article, David. And Mr. Cohen, a great thought that had never occurred to me, an Ohr Somayach BT from the 70s: “Over the past five years, NONE of the major Orthodox scandals or Chillul HaShem incidents was committed by Baalei Teshuvah.”
BeyondBT, a huge yasher koach for publishing this post. it is brave to do such a thing, and so helpful and healthy to have it here. I read the whole thing with my mouth open — not becuase what I read in it shocked me, but becuase it was right here, in BBT. It’s past time for something like this to be written. Thanks again.
Belle, it’s not just a small subgroup. unfortunately, it is a disproportionate amount of misconduct that is we are trying to address it as an issue in need of some specific attention.
I have concluded two things in my over 20-years as a frum Jew: 1) in any society, there are those who are exemplary, those who are mediocre (average) and those who are lowly. The mediocre are by far the majority. It is a bell curve. And the lowly will exist in any society – the selfish, the criminals, the vulgar, etc.
2) In the frum world, the exemplary exhibit breathtaking amounts of chessed, tzedakah, hacnochas orchim, wisdom and other high qualities, all while carrying on with a “normal” family life, to an extent rarely seen among the “exemplary” of the secular world. The Torah indeed elevates them, and indeed elevates the mediocre as well, as most people engage in chessed and tzedakah to some extent. And they are not usually paid for their efforts, unlike many otherwise working in the “non profit” world.
This to me outweighs a lot of the negatives that splash all over the headlines.
the problem is that Orthodox Judaism often puts a premium on achieving a kind of “normality.” So this can often translate into having a kind of home life which is “normal” and “fun.” this often means that our community’s main effect is to create a kind of insular clubbiness, rather than creating the kind of introspective, self-reflective ability towards good conduct which we hopefully should sometimes try for.
And whenever I hear of Jews acting badly, I remind myself of something I once heard, “Don’t judge Judiasm by the Jews”. Lately, I’ve had to say it a lot more than I would like.
I sense a certain contempt from those who act badly and from those who fail to condemn it loudly and with conviction. While it is true we are a nation apart, and spiritually above, others, it doesn’t mean that we can view or treat those outside our club as “less than”. Different, perhaps. Neither can we hold in contempt the civil laws of the country we reside it. And isn’t there some halacha which compels us to be respectful of the civil laws of the country we reside it?
I can understand a person who falls short of all of this. Life is tough, business is cut-throat, not everyone is as mentally stable or healthy as we would like. But our leaders are supposed to be above all of that. Better than all of that. It seems they are often not.
I think it comes down to basic honesty. I expect our leaders to be honest, even when it is not to his, or our, advantage to be honest. If I find a bag of cash in the street, and some identification in the bag, it is not in my interest at all to return it. But I would. I once forgot to pay for my slice and soda. I remembered three days later. I could have just left it at that. I didn’t. I went back and paid for my meal. It would have been nice if the guy showed some appreciation, but I did it because I am not a thief. The store owner wouldn’t have known I was a thief, but I would have known it, and I won’t be a thief. I couldn’t live with myself if I was. So maybe it was to my advantage, but not in any material sense.
I think we have standards of honesty, but we just don’t apply them when it hurts or universally. And when our leaders don’t, it destroys our trust in them. And it trickles down…
“For a convert or a baal teshuvah, like me, the greatest stumbling block to faith may indeed be the Orthodox community itself.” QUOTE (David Klinghoffer).
It’s sad but this statement connected with me. In my over two decades of experience now as an Orthodox Jew, this has been my biggest hurdle to leap as well.I’m thankful for the positive experiences as well that I’ve had which balance things out a bit.I’ve had to work very hard at blocking out the negative I see in the Orthodox community, and concentrate on the positive.I’ve learned to just let go of the things that are out of my control,and focus on my own actions which I have control over.For me, I became frum because of identifying with the ideals of Torah. Being introverted and bookish, I came into Judaism self-motivated needing less external motivation than most people.For me it is a painful truth to know that to a good extent I became and remain an Orthodox Jew despite Orthodox Jews, and not because of them.
I would like to add one point to David Klinghoffer’s otherwise excellent and insightful post. And that is that the sometimes distasteful behavior observed of Jews in New York (such as pushing at kidushim) can be as much attributable to being a New Yorker as being a Jew.
I was recently at a vort in NYC in a major upper west side shul (I am from a suburb) and was struck at how tiny the public space was, and how crowded it quickly became. Due to the shortage of space in the city, people sometimes begin to act like packed rats (unless there is a strong culture of politeness, as in Japan). Similarly, aggressive/rude behavior behind the wheel of a car can be attributable to the overwhelming crowdedness of the roads. This is not to justify, but to understand. I would bet that these same people, if moved to more pleasant surroundings, would find themselves relaxing more when they realize that life is not a constant struggle for space.
This is proven by the fact that Jews from out of town don’t act so rudely. However, this doesn’t explain the illegal and immoral behavior of those Jews accused of crimes who are from out of town. I believe that root is the fact that learning that halacha is primary, somehow translates into that all other laws are nothing, if you can get away with it.
The Midrash rabbo to Vayikro 9:3 says Derech Eretz Kodmo Latorah. “The way of the world preceded the Torah”. Manners and living decently is a prerequisite for learning Torah. If it is lacking, then the Torah does not get absorbed. Whatever the misbehaving scholars are learning, is not Torah. It is some sort of twisted aberration forced on them from a system of cheder-baby-sitting, but not Torah education.
FACT:
Over the past five years, NONE of the major Orthodox scandals or Chillul HaShem incidents was committed by Baalei Teshuvah.
CONCLUSIONS:
[1] Baalei Teshuvah are NOT inferior to FFBs.
[2] FFBs should acknowledge this.
[3] FFBs should learn from Baalei Teshuvah.
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For quick quotes from Jewish holy books and short true stories of Rabbis, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DerechEmet/
(For Jewish people only.)
These sad events are certainly a wake up call for Orthodoxy and yet few if any of those who stand charged or convicted of the actions in these scandals are Orthodox……….
Rabbi Shimon Schwab (born in Germany in 1908, died in USA in 1993) once noted, with great consternation, the JEW entry in his edition of Webster’s Dictionary included in its definition terms such as: cheater, hard bargainer, and the like.
Sadly, the term JEW has become synonymous with dishonesty and guile.
In fact, the word JEW is also used as a verb: “Jew him down” means to persistently bargain or haggle.
Rabbi Schwab remarked that the redemption can not come until this definition is taken out of the dictionary and phased out of the vernacular.
When the term JEW becomes synonymous with pristine honesty, with stellar character, with courteous manners and amiability, we will know we are ready for the redemption.
SOURCE: article by Rabbi Eli Mansour, Community Magazine, January 2009, page 18
For quick quotes from Jewish holy books and short true stories of Rabbis, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DerechEmet/
(For Jewish people only.)
David emailed the article to us, which usually means that he would like us to post it.
We added the Forward link.
It appears that this was published in the Forward. If so, it would be appropriate to credit it to the original source.
If you’ll kindly excuse me for posting the third time in a row. In my humble opinion, I feel there is a problem in our community with the idea of “normal” or “is that normal?” or “what’s normal.” If our small isolated insular community defines bad manners and offensive behavior as “normal,” then to display good manners and polite behavior is almost to be tagged as “not normal.” If a BT or Ger can be identified not by his/her clothing but by his/her decent behavior, almost as if well, once we’re in the community X number of years, we’ll learn to be rude and offensive like everyone else, we’ll learn to be “normal,” well then maybe we need to push for a shift in the definition of “normal.” Remember that the Chofetz Chaim had to push very hard a century ago to get the Orthodox Jewish community of his time to accept that gossip about other people could ruin lives and was against the Torah. We need a figure of similar stature to remind our community that “good manners precede the Torah.” Unfortunately, it’s precisely the leaders who are displaying the wrong sort of behavior that making the headlines.
IMHO, it is necessary to have more solid practical lessons in what might be termed the “Torah of everyday life.” Perhaps years ago people didn’t need this, but nowadays such lessons are much required. If an Orthodox Jewish man puts on tefillin but beats his wife, maybe he learned all the hilchos of Tefillin but nothing about interpersonal relationships. Or maybe he learned exactly the wrong lessons, that being decent to others means that they’ll take advantage of you, so you have to take advantage of them first. Frankly, it’s easier to give a shiur about this week’s Parshah or kashering the kitchen for Pesach than to tell people how to act toward each other, even how to act at the Kiddush following mussaf.
I agree with David Klinghoffer, inasmuch as our insistence on creating a completely distinct culture from the wider society seems to have left behind certain universal standards of decent behavior. “Please” and “thank you” are lessons for kids in Pre-K but not used by people over age 5. More importantly, positions of community leadership (which involve control over money, jobs and vendor contracts) have become embarrassing power struggles. If being the XYZ Rebbe is more about controlling a network of schools and mosdos that receive thousands in gov’t dollars, and less about actually serving the XYZ Hasidim as a spiritual leader, then how can anyone look to the XYZ Rebbe as a source of spiritual guidance?