17 Responses to “Is There Anything Wrong With Not Being Active in Shul Affairs?”

1. David Linn
   June 2nd, 2009 @ 9:50 am

   People have different strengths, weaknesses and proclivities. If someone’s efforts will be more beneficial elsewhere, I don’t have a problem with them taking a backseat in shul activities. The problem arises when someone does not assist in any communal affairs whatsoever.

2. Bob Miller
   June 2nd, 2009 @ 10:00 am

   The active people often get burned out because they have to put in the extra time and effort that others could share, if so inclined. Why be a totally passive anything? We’re here for a purpose.

3. Albany Jew
   June 2nd, 2009 @ 1:14 pm

   As David said I think there is nothing wrong with being a passive member of a Shul especially if you are involved with other things (Chevra kadisha, mikvah administration, there are so many options.) One of the things about being in a small community is that you almost have to get involved with community things or no one will do them (I guess why Hashem gave us a 10 minute commute!)

4. Shua
   June 2nd, 2009 @ 1:20 pm

   I too am not particularly thrilled about participating in shul politics. But there are alternative ways that you can contribute, often unobtrusively if not in fact unnoticed. For example:

   ~ In many shuls hundreds of siddurim are taken from the shelves on Friday night and, despite pleas to the contrary by the gabbai, are not returned. On Shabbos morning I arrive early and do the returning myself.

   ~ The electricity bill is usually onerous, yet people leave shul lights on every where and at any time. I am the furtive light flicker who shuts them off when they are unnecessarily on and wasting money.

   ~ After daily post-Shacharis libations, many people (ugh!) leave their dirty plates and cups for someone else to clean up (and we don’t have a shul custodian on a daily basis). Well, I am the last one out of the door, having cleared and cleaned the table myself.

   I do not intend (c”v) to be immodest by this posting and toot my own horn. I just want you to be aware that there are ways to be “active” under the radar. And of course, one always knows that the Ribbono Shel Olam is appreciative of one’s efforts.

5. Mark Frankel
   June 2nd, 2009 @ 2:17 pm

   “The problem arises when someone does not assist in any communal affairs whatsoever.”

   The majority of people do not assist in communal affairs. Don’t they have a right just to pay their dues and tuitions and be a community member?

   I’ve usually been a proponent that people should generally participate in some communal affairs, but now I think a strong case can be made that just being a member is sufficient. It’s the person’s own personal calculation and responsibility of how they chose to spend their time.

   The reality is that a minority (20%-30%) will be active in communal affairs in the mid-size to larger communities. Perhaps it’s time to embrace and accept that reality.

6. Nathan
   June 2nd, 2009 @ 4:47 pm

   I like Shua’s ideas. May I add:

   Contribute to your local Beit HaKnesset (synagogue) by practicing exemplary decorum:

   {1} no talking
   {2} arrrive early, not late
   {3} do not bring young children
   {4} do not litter
   {5} after the bathroom, flush and wash hands

   Many synagogue bathrooms tend to run out of toilet paper quickly. If your synagogue has this problem, you can bring toilet paper from home and put it in the synagogue bathrooms.

7. Gary
   June 2nd, 2009 @ 5:14 pm

   Everyone can be involved in a small way. Little things like straightening the books on the shelves (no, not picking them up from all around the shul!), properly draping some shul talesim on the rack, pushing a stray chair under the table,etc. all contribute to a positive atmosphere for prayer, study and assembly.

8. tzirelchana
   June 3rd, 2009 @ 9:31 am

   There is an ancient tradition to help the shul called Ner LaMa’or–which used to mean purchsing the oil to keep the shul lit. Today, there are other ways to help. My family recently endowed a new set of chumashim and two of my sons got so enthusiastic that they donated from their own money to the cause. (one kid is eleven, the other seven). I felt like I’d hit the nachas jackpot with that one but being a part of a shul can add so much to your life. If you don’t feel like helping, I’d say that maybe its time to search for another shul, one which inspires you more. Good luck

9. Bob Miller
   June 3rd, 2009 @ 10:17 am

   I once donated a paper towel dispenser (the old one wasn’t made for today’s C-fold paper towels and they kept jamming).

10. JDMDad
    June 3rd, 2009 @ 12:56 pm

    At my shul, we set up the kiddish lunch starting around the time of the Torah reading. Many times I go out to help set up because otherwise it doesn’t get done, or at least it becomes a rush job in the middle to end of Musaf. The person who was overseeing all the set up recently moved out of state, and the Gabbi, in his farewell speech, was apparently laying it on a tad thick about how the few who volunteer really need help from “the rest.” (I missed the speech). The following week he had to stand up and apologize as some people found his talk a bit “harsh.” We’ll see how much help I get this Shabbos after all that.

    Anyway, I’ve been asked a few time (from family who is visiting for a shabbos) why I do that, why not leave it for others? Well, if everyone leaves it for others, then when it’s time for kiddish, everyone will wonder why someone didn’t do it.

    Also, after sending several corrections to the guy who writes our weekly (online) newsletter, I was asked to become a proof reader, which I was happy to do. If we look, we can all find a place where we can help out.

11. Jonathan
    June 4th, 2009 @ 2:01 pm

    To the original question – realize that there are really two “costs” to running a community: (A) financial (which are generally satisfied by people paying their dues) and (B) time and effort. Both are actually necessary components to a functioning tzibor.

    I’d think that if someone is not involved in (B), they’d feel compelled to “monetize” the time they did *not* invest in the community (i.e., their share of the (B) burden) and increase their community contribution. On the flip side, it is fairly common for people who can’t satisfy their (A) contribution to satisfy it via time investments into the community/shul.

    Thoughts?

12. Mark Frankel
    June 4th, 2009 @ 3:53 pm

    Jonathan,

    Maybe investments is a better term than costs. And I think there is a third investment and that is just showing up and being a part of the community. There are many communities who would love to have a few more members, and perhaps we undervalue the “showing up” commitment of our current members.

    In terms of financial commitment, if a person can truly not afford to pay their full share, I wonder if increasing their hardship further by insisting on a time commitment is the best approach.

    I think the halacha is pretty clear that your own community takes precedence in terms of monetary and chesed priorities.

    How to motivate others is a more complicated issue and perhaps giving voice (to the priorities) and choice is the way to go.

13. Ron Coleman
    June 8th, 2009 @ 2:10 am

    I’ve never heard anyone complain that “so and so isn’t involved in shul affairs.” How many of these complaints have you heard, Ezra? Are they complaints, or invitations? Or are they requests to pitch in?

14. Gary
    June 9th, 2009 @ 5:30 pm

    “At my shul, we set up the kiddish lunch starting around the time of the Torah reading.”

    JDMDad, I realize you are part of a system that is long-established, and you are to be commended for helping the congregation. However, wouldn’t it be more appropriate to have the set up done before davening begins? Of course, items that require refrigeration or warming can be kept in those places until davening ends, and then transported out to the dining area. If anyone is upset that they have to wait a few extra minutes, invite that person to help.

15. Diane E. Kehrt
    June 10th, 2009 @ 5:55 pm

    It is like being a member of a family and not being part of that family, Example: Coming to the table eating and retiring to your room without a word, just as if you were a stranger. A family member is part of the every day up and downs, good times and the bad times and always working to make that family the very best. Shalom, Elisheva

16. Diane E. Kehrt
    June 10th, 2009 @ 6:01 pm

    Belonging to a Shul is the same as being in a family, all work together to make it a spiritual home as one does any family. Shalom

17. Southern Belle
    June 11th, 2009 @ 8:51 pm

    There are some shuls in which the politic are so complicated that it is better to limit involvement, for people who dont want to be involved in all that type of negatively and potential lashon hara and sinas chinum. Its sad, but true.

Leave a Reply