I believe that the ultimate manifestation of Torah Judaism is Chesed, acts of loving-kindness. It’s not the number of times one davens in a day, or the type of kippah he wears, or if her hair is covered completely, not at all, partially, or only sometimes. It’s whether all that davening and all those halachic guidelines and all that learning yields a better person, a better Yid. Does the person smile more, give others the benefit of the doubt more frequently, look for ways to make peace with others (instead of always getting his/her way), help others in time of need (whether it’s a seat on the bus, or picking up a dropped object, or bringing a meal to a new mother/sick friend/random member of the community), encourage children to play with those who seem to have no friends?
If all of that learning and studying and rushing to classes and davening does not make one a better person, then it does not matter to me how many of the mitzvot that person observes, or how stringent; it means they are not taking the Torah’s lessons to heart.
Years ago, I was surrounded by loving, kind, and generous observant Jews, and that spurred me to grow in my own observance. I believed that the Torah guidelines make for a pretty good foundation for life, and I still believe that. We must always keep the big picture in mind.
This is the first in a series of defining Torah Judaism for our non observant co-religionists in 500 words or less.
FFB – I didn’t denigrate the other components of Judaism in my essay. Not at all. I am sorry that you read it that way. I agree with how you re-worded my beginning, but I don’t think it’s that different from what I wrote. I didn’t knock the other mitzvot and I don’t intend to, and I certainly wouldn’t have taken on additional mitzvot if I don’t believe in them. I hope that others, and yourself, have written essays answering the title question so that we can read a variety of opinions.
Can anybody here honestly say that they don’t commit transgressions on occasion? If so, perhaps we should change the title from Beyond Teshuva to Beyond Tzaddikim.
Perhaps this story can help:
They asked R’ Motel Katz, Telzer Rosh Yeshivah, what he thinks of a frum Jew who cheats in his business dealings.
R’ Katz: “And what do you think of a frum Jew who eats Yom Kippur?”
“Why, that’s not a frum Jew!”
“Well, neither is one who cheats in his business dealings.”
Houston Ima, all the commenters here are also trying to distill what is the essence of Torah Judaism — using your essay as a jumping off point. I am not just arguing for the sake of criticizing your essay or nitpicking it. Actually, I thought it was very nice. And we can all agree that Chessed is absolutely vital. But your essay and your subsequent comments led me to more questions, which I was interested in seeing addressed.
What does “observant” really mean? Should we judge Judaism by the Jews? Why or why not?
These are questions I struggle with. I am trying to formulate an essay, but really I don’t have answers, so it is difficult. Perhaps through discussing the issues we can get a little closer to finding answers to these questions.
Perhaps then, what many are trying to say is that one aspect must compliment the other. Just doing mitzvahs alone (davening, kashrus, etc), is not Torah, nor is merely Chessed, since other “branches” also emphasize Tikkun Olam, but without benefit of most of the mitzvahs. And obviously, emphasizing what the “right” kippah is, or by the same token, the “right” way for a woman to cover her hair is not what Torah is either.
Perhaps we can all agree that much of the criticism here could have been avoided if the post started more or less like this:
I believe that the ultimate manifestation of Torah Judaism is Chesed, acts of loving-kindness. All that davening and all those halachic guidelines and all that learning should yield a better person, a better Yid…
No one would argue with that.
When praising chessed, must you denigrate other components of Judaism? Are the virtues of chessed so vague that you have to discount the importance of other mitzvahs in order to make chessed shine?
The way to rise is to reach higher, not to knock others.
In my essay, I was just trying to distill what Torah Judaism means to *me* – what I think to be its very essence; not the sole criterion, but its essence that can be found among its many laws. I am positive that the administrators of this blog would love to see essays by others such as yourself so that we can read a whole spectrum of thought. This essay is just my opinion.
If chesed (bein adam la’chavero) is what is central to Judaism, then why would you refer to someone as “observant” if they observe bein adam le’makom but aren’t nice? (as in your comment #11). Or (as in your comment #24) why would hair covering and davening earmark someone as Torah observant if chesed is what is most important? Do we define “observant” as meaning “observant of mitzvot vis-a-vis God” or “observant of mitzvot vis-a-vis other people” or “observant of both kinds of mitzvot”.
FFB – I suppose I was reacting to what I read in your 11:36 post in the second sentence. I personally feel that chesed is the root of everything else, so that is how I defined Torah Judaism in my original post. The other items you mentioned – hair coverings, davening, etc – those are all very nice, and most definitely earmark who is Torah observant and who is not, but to me it’s all negated if that person is a plain ol’ mean person.
I don’t think we necessarily disagree – most likely we are dancing around the same bush saying slightly different things. This is just how I define Torah Judaism at this stage in my life given my experiences. Hopefully others will add their essays to this series so that we can see a spectrum of thought.
FFB wrote
Chessed is a very important part of Yiddishkeit, but it’s only one part.
Yiddishkeit is also about Shabbos, kashrus, taharas hamishpacha, and yes, about the number of times one davens in a day, or the type of kippah he wears, or if her hair is covered completely, not at all, partially, or only sometimes – though they’re not all equally important, of course.
I think your statement minimized the centrality of Chesed (Bein Adom L’Chaveiro) in Torah Judaism by mentioning it in the same breath and with the same emphasis as the other mitzvos and customs that you cited.
Bein Adom L’Chaveiro comprises at least one half of the focus of a frum Jew and according to some Talmdudic sources (Hillel and Rabbi Akiva’s statements) it is our central focus.
I think Houston Ima’s point was that to her Bein Adom L’Chaveiro was the central focus of Torah Judaism and is perhaps the primary external measure on how one is serving Hashem.
Perhaps we can all agree that all mitzvos are important and one can not know the reward for any of them, but Bein Adom L’Chaveiro holds a central, and perhaps the central focus of a Torah Observant Jew.
So what in your feeling is “contrary to what FFB writes”? Did I write that Yiddishkeit is ONLY or MOSTLY or IN LARGE PART about how many times a day someone davens, or what kind of kippah they wear?
It is so hard to express in writing what one feels, and I most certainly have not been able to express my thoughts very well, it appears. I don’t think that davening or kippah-wearing, etc are unimmportant or don’t have a role to play in Torah Judaism….it’s just that, to me, if I see someone who meticulously davens at the correct zman, wears the “right” kippah and yet is rude to someone or embarrasses someone or refuses to assist kiddush set-up at the shul and never once offers to help…to me that just invalidates everything that person was supposed to have learned by doing all of those halachic requirements.
(sorry – unfortunately I have had such negative experiences)
On the upside, I have been inspired and uplifted by the extreme compassion I have found among observant Jews and that has played a major role in my choosing to become more observant. That’s what I like to focus on, and so I think that if more people focused on acts of chesed *in addition* to personal growth, then we may be able to raise the spiritual level even more and really show off that performing all of those mitzvot and following the halacha makes one a better person.
I was just pointing out that it is not only materialism that is contrary to spirituality, but also gaavah (self-centeredness).
Two things move us away from Hashem, Taavah (materialism) and Gaavah (self-centeredness/self-importance).
And according to some, even Taavah is rooted in Gaavah.
So at the end of the day it’s your sense of self-importance that moves you away more than materialism.
Self-centeredness/importance has two avenues of expression, with regard to others and with regard to Hashem.
-Torah helps us understand the world and man’s role, strengths and weaknesses in this world.
-Avodah (prayer) helps us reduce the self-importance in regard to Hashem.
-Chesed helps us reduce the self-importance in regard to others.
Gaavah resides in a place deep inside of us and we *all* have to constantly work on it, whether we are relatively new to Torah Judaism, 10+ year BTs or FFBs who are further along in years of observance.
I never said Judaism was not about chessed. Of course it is. I sais chessed is an IMPORTANT PART of Yiddishkeit. Houston Ima said “I do NOT think Yiddishkeit is about how many times a day someone davens, or what kind of kippah they wear.” She did not even allow that davening 3 times daily might be an UNIMPORTANT part of Yiddishkeit. It just doesn’t count at all, it seems. Notice the difference?
The question of priorities could just as well be addressed to myself: “What is more important to me, materialism or spiritualism? What am I more willing to skimp on?†It’s a never-ending struggle, for FFBs as well as for BTs. The only thing that raised my hackles is the invalidation of valid – sometimes crucial – parts of Yiddishkeit.
Did that sound self-centered and egotistic? I sincerely apologize if it did. I stand in awe of every BT, no matter where they stand. If I were in their shoes, I’m not at all sure I would make it that far.
“It all boils down to a matter of priorities: What is more important to you, materialism or spiritualism? What are you more willing to skimp on?”
I think you might be missing the self-centeredness and egotism that is also contrary to spiritualism.
Focusing on chesed and the feelings and sensitives of other help us to eliminate the “I am better than you” mentality which retards spiritual growth.
“And contrary to what FFB writes, I do NOT think Yiddishkeit is about how many times a day someone davens, or what kind of kippah they wear.”
It’s like saying that happiness is not about a comfortable home, respectable clothing, and tasty foods. You could live on the bare basics of life, but you wouldn’t be very happy, would you? Well, neither would you be a very Jewish Jew (I said very) if you live with the bare basics of Yiddishkeit.
Davenenig 3 times a day is mandated by Rabbinic ordination. It is a serious obligation for men, less so for women.
Wearing a kipah probably falls in the realm of minhag, though some think it’s rooted in the Written Torah. This category is one of the least important but it still has some importance.
Covering a woman’s hair is Das Yehudis. This is serious business, though not as critical as Das Moshe.
If one is not yet up to any these levels of observance, it’s ok with me, and probably with H’ too, as long as they strive to reach ever higher and acknowledge their own inhibitions instead of denigrating the importance of these mitzvahs/minhagim.
All of these taken together – our Mesorah – is what kept Yiddishkeit alive throughout 2,000 years of exile; and the abandonment of the “small stuff” is what started Reform, Consevatism, and other pernicious streams of Judaism. A little hindsight, my friends!
It all boils down to a matter of priorities: What is more important to you, materialism or spiritualism? What are you more willing to skimp on?
I respect you tremendously for every step you took, but please respect – at least don’t denigrate – the steps of those who are further ahead.
A boss once told me something along the lines of “If it was so easy, we wouldn’t be paying you to do it”.
We’re rewarded for being servants of HaShem because it’s so deep, multifaceted, all-encompassing, etc., as to be a real challenge.
Shades of Grey:
Perhaps both components (individual writers’ experiences and quotes from leaders) can be incorporated. Writers can include a quote or a synopsis of a great thinker’s ideas, and discuss that concept’s contribution to his or her increased participation in Torah Judaism.
“However, summarizing the work of great Jewish thinkers and leaders is not necessarily the antidote.”
I agree with your point regarding “taken as whole”; people have different things to add to such a discussion. But it will help, I think, for questions like the uniquness of Jewish spirituality versus other religions–you don’t have to rediscover the wheel.
Several posters remarked that one can’t do justice to the definition of Torah Judaism in 500 words or less.
However, summarizing the work of great Jewish thinkers and leaders is not necessarily the antidote.
Since this will be a series of articles, over the course of time many people can share their views of Torah Judaism’s essence. Taken as a whole along with the comments, the series will do justice and then some for the topic.
“I think the challenge here, of writing an essay in 500 words or less, will obviously mean that the response cannot encompass an entire dissertation on how Torah Judaism is defined.”
Perhaps you can try to summarize the key concepts of someone else’s work in less than 500 words? For example, I’m thinking of R. Emanuel Feldman’s “On Judaism”, where he deals with fundamental concepts, and he contrasts Judaism with other concepts of spirituality(I’ll add the disclaimer that it’s been a while since I’ve read the book).
If you stick to less than 500 words, I think you’ll have essays focusing on different fundamental items through people’s prisims. My outline would focus on both machashava and maaseh, which are both daily parts of Jewish life, and thus fundamental from an educational and definitional point of view. I would also try to show how Torah living could makes someone refined as a person, and how it could satisfy self-actualization, both concepts that appeal to people.
I think the challenge here, of writing an essay in 500 words or less, will obviously mean that the response cannot encompass an entire dissertation on how Torah Judaism is defined. This is just my opinion. Please allow me to clarify.
I believe that all the mitzvot teach us something, even if we don’t understand the reasoning behind the mitzvah. Shatnez is the quintessential example of a mitzvah that is just plain bizarre. However, it can teach us that two things, that are totally not like each other, simply do not mix and should not be forced together. We can apply this to daily life. If our child absolutely, positively refuses to spend time with a certain classmate, then we should not force our child to do so. We probably shouldn’t force a snake to mate with a bird (that’s an extreme example, but please bear with me). To me, shatnez can teach me that I should consider the characteristics of another thing or being before combining it with something else. That’s kind of like chesed.
The big 3 – shabbat, kashrut, and taharat mishpacha – to me go without saying, but don’t really define the essence of Torah Judaism. Like I expressed in my essay, to me, all of those things really don’t mean much if the person does not perform chesed. The person can do Shabbat as per the halachot, but if they don’t offer hospitality, if they don’t offer a smile or a shabbat shalom to a fellow Jew – then did they really learn what Shabbat can teach us?
Anyway, that’s just what I think. And contrary to what FFB writes, I do NOT think Yiddishkeit is about how many times a day someone davens, or what kind of kippah they wear. If that were the case, I would have absolutely no Yiddishkeit whatsoever, and neither would my family, and I actually find that my non-observant family has more Yiddishkeit than many observant ones out there. It’s not the trappings of Judaism that makes Yiddishkeit; it’s really what is inside the person – the love. It is because of my parents’ love of Yiddishkeit that I decided to become observant, not because of how many times a day they daven (0) or what kippah my father wears (none).
David, I was afraid of that when I commented! But I can’t write such an essay, because I don’t really know what Torah Judaism is. I am still trying to figure it out and tie it all together in my own mind.
Why isn’t this a description of being a good christian as well? Is the point of Torah Judaism to become a better person? Of course! But that’s stopping short of the ultimate goal. Why is becoming a better person the ultimate goal? Why did G-d create us to become greater people? This is what needs to be defined and then we can analyze how Torah brings us to the goals that “becoming great” will achieve for us.
Orthodox Jews often define Judaism in terms of the mitzvot they perform, such as: eating kosher, observing Shabbat, praying or studying.
But authentic Judaism must also be defined by our sacred beliefs: The 13 Principles of Torah, as taught by Rambam, may his merit shield us.
While I definitely agree with the points made in this post, I also believe that without the “big 3” (Shabbos, Kashrut and Taharas Hamishpacha – sort of like the 3 ‘R’s in grade school), we’re not talking about specifically Torah Judiasm, but rather, being a mentsch. Obviously there are many more mitzvahs then just those, but for most people, that’s where they start and then evolve into the others.
As I sent each of my children off to learn, I reminded them that if they didn’t live by what they’re learning, then they didn’t do anything except intellectual exercises. B”H, they’ve gotten the message!
Chessed is a very important part of Yiddishkeit, but it’s only one part.
Yiddishkeit is also about Shabbos, kashrus, taharas hamishpacha, and yes, about the number of times one davens in a day, or the type of kippah he wears, or if her hair is covered completely, not at all, partially, or only sometimes – though they’re not all equally important, of course.
There’s bein adam lamakom and there’s bein adam lachavero;
There’s Das Moshe and there’s Das Yehudis;
There’s halacha, minhag, chumra and syag.
There’s the all-encompassing mitzva of “kedoshim tihyu”, as it would be impossible for the torah to list all do’s and don’ts, including technology of thousands of years later that can easily lead one to be a “naval birshus hatorah” (i.e. a “legal” scoundrel).
Hillel said: “Do not do unto others what you do not want done to you; the rest is commentary – GO LEARN.” (caps mine – just to get you to notice the last two, often-ignored, words.)
At some time or other, we’ve all experienced chessed from people who were not Torah Jews. Qualitatively, as experienced by the recipient, what would distinguish the chessed of Torah Jews?
Squarepeg13,
We’d love to hear from you! You can submit your 500 or less words post to us at beyondbt@gmail.com.
Hmmm … It sounds very nice. But, the essay doesn’t really explain how Torah Judaism is different from the Reform movement’s emphasis on Tikkun Olam. We have the Mitzvot vis-a-vis other people, and the ones vis-a-sis Hashem. And those include Mitzvot we can understand (like Shabbat) and those we really don’t (like, say, Shaatnez). I think such an essay needs to somehow tie together these two types of Mitzvot.
Good point.
Amen! Thank you for a lovely contribution.