Posted on | April 11, 2007 | By Rabbi Yonason Goldson | 2 Comments
Hello, you have reached the voice mail of Shloimie Sprintzer. I am currently davening. Please choose from one of the following options.
To leave a message, press 1.
To leave a message for me to call you back during kriyas haTorah, press 2.
To text-message me, so I can respond during Shmoneh Esrei, press 3.
To page me, so that I can ignore your call and allow the phone to ring, increasing in volume, and thereby disturb everyone else’s Shmoneh Esrei, press 4.
To page me, so that I can answer during Shmoneh Esrei and make inarticulate grunting noises, press 5.
If you have video — to page me, so that I can communicate through sign language or written notes during Shmoneh Esrei, press 6.
If you are davening yourself and wish to respond to Kaddish or Kedusha, press 7.
To choose from ring options that can be played during Hallel, press 8.
If you would like to hear a pre-recorded p’sak permitting tefillah b’tzibbur via cell phone from Rabbi Yisroel Meir Shmeril Tupenovsky (RIMSHOT), press 9.
To make a Kiddush HaShem, hang up, turn off your phone, and wait until you finish davening to worry about your calls.