If you’ve listened to the Life After Teshuva tapes, you know they contain a wealth of valuable advice and information. At $75 for the 15 tape series, they are a true bargain.
There is however one recurring theme throughout the tapes that bothers me and that is the constant refrain that those presenting at the conference “get it”, with the implication that many others don’t “get it”.
Now I think that all the presenters had a lot to offer. However, our experience at Beyond BT has shown us that nobody “gets it” all the time when it comes to BT issues (or probably any issue for that matter). The wise person will follow the advice from Pirkei Avos and try to learn from every person and not assume that they already “get it”.
Next week we will begin the three week period of mourning the destruction of the Bais Hamikdash. We know that the second Mikdash was destroyed because of Sinas Chinam (baseless hatred). We plan to run a few pieces on Achdus in this period including a series by Rebbetzin Heller titled “Antidote for Baseless Hatred”.
In that piece Rebbetzin Heller, brings a Gemora which says that before Mashiach comes, truth will be such that every group is like a little flock. And within each flock will be sub-flocks. The fragmentation of truth will be enormous. That basically means that no group will totally “Get it”.
So let’s keep striving for our personal understanding of truth while, at the same time, listening, hearing and understanding the truths that others bring to the table. Then, collectively we can piece together the truth that will result in the rebuilding of the Beis Hamikdash in our time.
It would be a real stretch to expect anyone but a bona fide Gadol to see the big picture in all its grandeur. In Ramchal’s metaphor, such a person can see over the maze. Our job is to seek out such people (and their books, recordings, true talmidim…) to build a proper perspective so we can deal with people, situations, and ideas within the Torah’s framework. Then we can know if what another brings to the table is a fragment of the truth or the opposite. We can respect each other and banish sinas chinam from our hearts while still not accepting everything ostensibly “Jewish” that comes along.
I would say that even amongst BT’s, we don’t always “get” each other. I think that over half the time, I can’t even relate to many of the posters on this forum because I don’t share their background or their issues.
We are definitely from very diverse backgrounds. Some of us grew up in very strict houses (that’s me). Some of us grew up in very free homes and had a number of colorful experiences.
For some of us, becoming frum was basically matter of rearranging our schedules to work around all of the Yomin Tovim and Shabbat, and changing our mode of dress. For others, becoming frum was a matter of looking at every single life decision in a new light.
I haven’t listened to the tape series and can’t comment on the speakers. But, I think it would be near impossible to relate to the experiences of all BT’s everywhere since it is too diverse a group to pinpoint.
The phrase she “gets it” or you “just don’t get it” also precludes any possible middle ground or compromise. Someone who doesn’t “get it” is not worth listening to and telling someone they “just don’t get it” is about as dismissive as you can get.
Get it?