Posted on | May 23, 2006 | By Yaakov Astor | 61 Comments
OK, here’s the situation. How would you advise?
A young man 24-25 just returned to the US from two years study in a BT yeshiva. He’s flying spiritually. But it’s time to get serious about the next stage in life. He wants to get married –- his yetzer hara won’t leave him alone — and raise a frum family.
a) is going to law school and has at least three years of schooling ahead of him before even thinking about making a penny.
b) is going to be a psychologist (5 years schooling) or doctor (5+ years).
c) he isn’t exactly sure what he wants to do, but is bright and has good grades and a degree from a good school to prove it.
How do you advise in each case? Does he go out? If not, how does he deal with Mr. Yetzer? How much information about the realities of frum living – e.g. like those on the Financial Realities thread – do you tell him about?
How does your advice change, if at all, if his circumstances change – if he is 27-28? 30-32? 32+?
How does your advice change, if at all, if we replace “him” with “her,” i.e. it’s a young woman just returning from Israel?