Posted on | March 28, 2006 | By Michoel | 75 Comments
Below is an email exchange with my sister. She is two years older than me and has called me “Ugs” since I was 5 years old and she thought I was cute. Lashon sagi nahor, I guess. I have always been very close with her but we don’t see each other often since she still lives in the NY area and I have relocated to Baltimore.
It bothers both of us that we are not able to share in each others lives more. The situation is complicated by the fact that my nephews have severe food allergies. For the last few years she has hosted various Thanksgiving dinners, and birthday parties that we have declined to attend. I wanted to convey (more) clearly to her why we decline. In the past she has said something like “What’s the problem? When my kids go to a birthday party, they know that they cannot eat whatever they want because it might have peanuts etc. So why can’t you just do the same thing with your kids? We’ll bring in some kosher food for you and some other food for everyone else.” Obviously, there are halachic ways to cook kosher in a non-kosher home.
I’d appreciate some feedback as to the emotional / communication element at work.
Subject: RE: stuff
1) We have a similar guide already, thanks
2) Sis, we teach our kids that God wants all Jews to be Torah observant. We also teach them that even though the rest of our family is not Torah observant, they are very wonderful people and do lots of other things that Hashem is proud of even though they don’t keep shabbos and kosher. We also tell them that their aunts and uncles love them and do a lot of nice things for them. That being said, until they are significantly older, I cannot bring them to any family function were non-kosher food is being served. I feel that watching people that they are told to love and value eating non-kosher has a negative impact on them, even though they know intellectually that the rest of the family eats non-kosher food. I cannot, on one hand tell them that it is very important to eat kosher and then completely desensitize them to that message by having them watch non-kosher food be eaten while they are casually enjoying a game or story with their cousins. I realize that this makes things difficult since you are very limited in what food you can bring into your house. I don’t expect you to do what you can’t do, but we cannot come unless only kosher food is served.
1) I have a copy of the 2006 Ou guide to kosher for Passover. Do you want it?
2) Dad is turning 75 this year. I was thinking of making a brunch party on May 28 (Sunday morning). Would you guys come?